Dear Jon
Many thanks for taking this effort to realise that you need help with this sense of lack of control in yourself. This is the first step which is very important, to realise and accept that you have a problem you cannot manage without some help. This sense of need for help facilitates your motivation to overcome most of human weakneses , fear and denial being one of them and cross the line of stigmatisation that those who seek help are weak.
Lack of control of your temper, is how you have defined your problem/need, I can reassure you that there is help and believe me that things can change.
For the purpose of helping you formulate your problem so that you can understand it better and gain control, I need to point out for you that for every human behaviour there is a function to it (root cause) and unless that is established by you with help of a facilitator like a counsellor, then control would not come easy.
I would suggest to you today that try to create time and space, then think of what the contrast of that behaviours of bashing things feeling revengeful is.
Then put down on paper what you think are the disadavantages of temper (lack of contro of it). Think through, dont feel bad abou your self but put down whatever you think is bad about that behaviour.
Continue to do the same with the contrast you identified (advantage of the opposite to temper--lack of control). Think , compare the two and then write something about how you feel about this lack of control and what the costs have been, and if you could have stopped soe of the incidents.
Braek----Then think and write down what the advantages of temper or lacking control could be. There is no stupid answer just write dont debate just write yes there are there may be to you or others who happen to be within your social system (work, family, clubs etc) Do the same to the contrast. Then think and write.
Go over and over what you wrote then try to formulate your own ways of gaining control. Dont hesitate to come back to me or any other easilyy accesible person to help you through this process.
The power to heal is in you and the power to fail is in you, you are the master. You can . go on and try this out.
Regards william.
